Gripedujour

Sarah Palin’s jet landed in Alaska tonight and in less than two minutes she told more lies than George Bush does in a month.

McCain’s pitbull dutifully recited the speech she’d been given, like any good pageant contestant would, before being whisked back home to be with her son Track, daughter Bristol, and the rest of the Palin clan.

The speech was a run down of her usual shit (can’t these people teach the prom queen any new material?): Sold my jet, fired my chef, I’m a maverick, lie, lie, lie…

National media creams itself. Film at 11.

Reuters is reporting that in his first solo outing without the prom queen in tow, McCain was a flop in Philly and had to cut his campaign stop short after being outmatched by local Obama supporters.

The story goes like this: Grandpa Simpson stops in Philadelphia to try to snow people into voting for him. One problem: No Tall Tale Sarah, No Big Crowds. As such, a few Obama-maniacs were able to drown out the 72 year-old’s speech and the war hero high-tailed it out of town.

The end.

McCain is holed up in one of his many houses, Sarah is back in meth capital of the world.

Here’s some fucking family values for you. In the form of more dirt from the new National Enquirer story, this time about Bristol and Sarah:

And as Gov. Palin has billed the state of Alaska for various expenses related to her children, as reported by The Washington Post, The ENQUIRER’s investigation reveals that she was so incensed by 17-year-old Bristol’s pregnancy that she banished her daughter from the house.

Another family friend revealed pre-prego Bristol was as much of a hard partier as Track was.
 
“Bristol was a huge stoner and drinker.  I’ve seen her smoke pot and get drunk and make out with so many guys. All the guys would brag that the just made out with Bristol.”

 When Sarah found out the teen was pregnant by high schooler Levi Johnston, she was actually banished from the house.  As part of the cover-up, Palin quickly transferred Bristol to another high school and made her move in with Sarah’s sister Heather 25 miles away!

For Bristol Palin drinking pics, click here.

We now join our favorite new drama already in progress. In the latest installment of “The Palins– America’s Favorite White Trash Family” we focus on the ongoing parenting skills of Trailer Park Sarah as she navigates her way through affairs, teenage pregnancy, drunk daughters, lies about her own career, and a drug addled son.

Seems the liberal, elitist National Enquirer has more dirt on the prom queen and her brood.

Despite Tall Tale Sarah telling the world about her angel, Track and his heroic endeavor to enlist and ship off to Iraq, a more honest storyline is emerging. The scuttlebutt for days has been that Track is off to Iraq to avoid jail time for being such a fuck-up. Now the Enquirer brings down the hammer!

Seems Track (in addition to having a ridiculously stupid name) has quite a rep for partying with people who like to shoot their mouths off and the Enquirer was all-to-happy to jot down the dirt.

For the rest of the story and direct quotes from Track’s Clown Shoes Wearing Posse CLICK HERE.

Let’s just get straight to the facts and quotes, ‘cuz this stupid shit is pissing me off to no fucking extent:

John McCain less than one year ago regarding Hillary Clinton’s healthcare plan:

“I think they put some lipstick on a pig,” he said, “but it’s still a pig.”

Elizabeth Edwards on McCain’s healthcare plan: 

John McCain’s health care plan was like “painting lipstick on a pig.” 

Title of John McCain’s former press secratary’s book:  

“Lipstick on a Pig: Winning in the No Spin Era.“

Obama on Bush’s mission for Petraeus:

“George Bush has given a mission to General Petraeus, and he has done his best to try to figure out how to put lipstick on a pig.“

McCain on Romney:

“Never get into a wrestling match with a pig. You both get dirty — and the pig likes it.“

Definition of the idiom “Put lipstick on a pig”:

If people put lipstick on a pig, they make superficial or cosmetic changes, hoping that it will make the product more attractive.

These lying motherfuckers actually have the nerve to have made the commercial below.

I see, calling Barack Obama “upitty” ain’t code for shit, but let Obama use the age old expression “lipstick on a pig” and he’s a fucking misogynist.

Anyone want to lay odds on what nonsense the national media covers all fucking-day long?

Seems that Newsweek is reporting that during the bitter divorce battle between Sarah’s sister and that state trooper she tried to get fired, a judge actually had to admonish to prom queen in October 2005 for being such a bitch (seriously):

Court documents show that Judge Suddock was disturbed by the alleged attacks by Palin and her family members on Wooten’s behavior and character. “Disparaging will not be tolerated—it is a form of child abuse,” the judge told a settlement hearing in October 2005, according to typed notes of the proceedings. The judge added: “Relatives cannot disparage either. If occurs [sic] the parent needs to set boundaries for their relatives.”….

“It is the mother’s [Hackett's] responsibility to set boundaries for her relatives and insure [sic] they respect them, and the disparagement by either parent, or their surrogates is emotional child abuse,” Judge Suddock wrote….

The judge even had to appoint a “custody investigator” to “specifically monitor the disparagement of the father (Trooper Wooten) by the Palin family (including Sarah).

Likewise, the article goes on to claim that by way of filing a blizzard of complaints against the trooper that “were not job-related” Palin and her family were badgering her soon-to-be ex brother in-law to such an extent as to be tantamount to “harassment”.

Great, this is all we need. A woman hating, spoiled brat with a temper like a 2-year old in the oval office and a vindictive, lying bitch a heartbeat away.