Gripedujour

Bristol Palin is a pot head. (You know, I’m really starting to like this girl: high school drop out, man stealing skank, drunk, knocked up, pot head? Oh yeah, she’s a keeper.)

Anyhow, the National Enquirer has more dirt on the prom queen’s offspring and as per usual, it ain’t keeping with the whole “I’m a mom… Rah, rah, Family Values” tip they’re pitching to the American voters.

The lowlights:

Video? Now when will that come about? Enquiring minds wanna know, bitch!

Here’s a nice little compilation of McCain saying how “The Fundamentals of our economy are strong.” Eighteen times over the past twelve months. That means about every six weeks homeboy hits up this taking point without fail. Should probably spend more time reading the paper and less time reading his script. He’s clearly got his lines down pat.

The Prom Queen, as I like to call her, has enjoyed a tremendous amount of GOP love since her unveiling by Big Daddy John McCain. Don’t ask me why, I can’t explain how GOP minds work. One day Obama’s not experienced enough, the next day they want the head of the PTA to be President. Who knows? Who cares? They’re all hypocritical nut-jobs, if you ask me.

However the interesting, and often over-looked thing about the GOP’s love for Palin, is that she is governor of Alaska. No shit, you say? Yes, but Republicans, every God damn chance they get, decry the perils of “Socialism“. They talk about it like it is the most un-American principle on the planet. You can safely bet that if they could, they’d include socialism in the axis of evil. You know it’s true. Anytime we want healthcare for every American, they comeback with some generalized bullshit about socialized medicine. Half these retards would be hard pressed to even tell you what socialism means. Socialism is a  ”system in which property and the distribution of wealth are subject to control by the community.”

So, to the point: Alaska is often described as America’s only socialist State. The reason why is because of the sort of joint ownership all citizens of Alaska have in their state’s natural resources. They are socialists ‘cuz they collectively own the state’s resources and allow every Alaskan to benefit from the exploitation of those resources. Every year each resident of Alaska receives a socialist check from their government in the form of oil-related royalties. This year it was over $2000. In fact, this year Socialist Mama Sarah Palin gave out an extra $1200 on top of the $2000 in oil-royalties. Sharing and re-distributing the wealth of big oil, that’s what Alaskans do. It’s a system by which resources and the distribution of wealth as a result of exploiting those resources are controlled by the community.

Now, if you’ve read this far, you’re thinking, what’s so bad about that? Nothing. It’s socialism. Wouldn’t it be great if every resident of California got cold, hard cash for every off-shore oil rig the GOP wants to set-up off our coast? Sure. Wouldn’t it be great if every resident of Washington state got a check for every tree the lumber industry cut down? You bet. But we don’t get those checks. Want to know why? ‘Cuz America hating conservatives, shilling for big corporations, would scream that’s socialism!

But hey, hypocrisy is the only lasting principle of modern day Republicanism, so they can scream Socialism on one hand and put a socialist on their national ticket with the other. They’re Republicans, they’re socialists, they’re defenders of corporate America. They’re whatever they have to be to maintain power. And that’s what they’re doing dry-humping Sarah Palin— socialist or not, she’s their solution on how to retain power in a year when they know they shouldn’t. The GOP, America’s newest socialist party.

Remember how John McCain laughingly said that Sarah Palin “probably knew more about energy than anyone in America.”?

Seems our foremost energy expert doesn’t even have a basic grasp of the facts as they pertain to her state.

Check it out:

After nonpartisan Factcheck.org pointed out Palin’s error in her interview with Gibson, the governor revised her statement somewhat, limiting it to oil and gas. But data compiled by the Energy Information Administration (EIA) contradict her claim that she oversees “nearly 20 percent” of oil and gas production in the country. According to authoritative EIA data, Alaska accounted for 7.4 percent of total U.S. oil and gas production in 2005.

McCain’s probable comeback: I said she was an expert in energy, not math!

…courtesy of Paul Begala.

Who does the following statements best describe??

A wealthy and hot-tempered rebel, he spent half his life fighting to live up to a famous father and grandfather, encouraged always by an indomitable mother. A self-described moderate on the campaign trail, he courts ultra-right-wing preachers behind the scenes and promises to appoint stridently conservative judges. A multimillionaire who supports more tax cuts for more millionaires, he surrounds himself with supply-siders and calls for policies that would drive us deeper into debt. The chief cheerleader for the war in Iraq, he said we’d be “welcomed as liberators” and angrily challenges anyone who questions his distorted and out-of-touch view of reality.

A self-styled reformer, his Kitchen Cabinet is stocked with Washington lobbyists. Deeply out of touch on economic issues, he repeats nostrums like “the fundamentals are strong” even as the fundamentals are deteriorating. He carefully courts the press, who suck up to him even though he supports authoritarian policies like wiretapping Americans without a court order. He is supported by oil company lobbyists and supports drilling in some of our most sensitive ecosystems. Although he gladly accepts government health care for himself, he would abandon you to take on colossal insurance corporations on your own. Charming and disarming at first blush, his wit masks a petulant temper and a self-righteous streak that even members of his own party worry about.

If you guessed George W. Bush, you’re right. And if you guessed John McCain, you’re also right. Congratulations. It would seems that in picking McCain as their nominee and cheering the choice of Palin as VP, the GOP idiot train rolls on.

Richie Rich has flown over America in his private jet, surveyed the damage and in the course of 36 hours, decided the economy has gone from “strong” to “total crisis“ — in a mere day and a half!

That’s gotta be some sort of Flip Flop Hall of Fame type shit. 36 hours! In a  day and a half, Mr. “I Don’t Know Much About the Economy” decides we’re in a “total crisis”, after all. Gee, what the fuck do you think the first hint was for this stupid motherfucker?

Let real wages fall, number of American’ living in poverty rise, unemployment spike and every thing’s cool. Let some Wall Street bitches lose their yacht money on real estate, and now “it’s total crisis.”

After the Government announced an $85 billion bailout of AIG the stock market continued it’s full-blown meltdown today, with shares of Morgan Stanley off 45%, Goldman Sachs down, 25%, and an out-right seizing of the credit markets.

I wonder stupid shit the McCain campaign will sy about it today. Click here and here for yesterdays instant classics.

…Carly Fiorina will disappear.

This crazy bitch had the nerve to tell the American people the truth yesterday when she said that neither Sarah “The Prom Queen” Palin, nor John “Richie Rich” McCain were capable of running a major corporation. Today the former top McCain campaign official will be made to “disappear” according to reports.

Ouch. Better she stick with the lies.

Update: Here’s the full recording of Fiorina being interviewed on the “McGraw Millhaven Show” on St. Louis’ KTRS Radio saying that Palin could not run a major company like Hewlett Packard:

Here’s the video of her on MSNBC saying that McCain couldn’t run a company either:

I’ve posted this before, but it’s worth posting again. Palin’s afraid to speak to ANYONE, but here’s what Joe Biden has to say about this election:

Obama has released a two-minute ad, directly addressing the voters about the recent financial meltdown.

What do you think?

Seriously. 

McCain senior policy adviser Douglas Holtz-Eakin said the Arizona senator helped created the Blackberry, a claim the Obama camp labeled “preposterous.” Holtz-Eakin was explaining how McCain’s position on the committee helped him understand financial markets, using his Blackberry as visual evidence. 

“Telecommunications of the United States is a premier innovation in the past 15 years, comes right through the Commerce Committee, so you’re looking at the miracle John McCain helped create and that’s what he did,” Holtz-Eakin said, according to reports.

If the media hadn’t been so busy laughing their collective asses off at McCain preposterous claim the other day that, “the fundamentals of our economy our strong” we would have all spent the day laughing our asses off at the old man who, though he cannot even use the Internet, claims to have invented the Blackberry (which I’m sure comes as a surprise to these guys.)

In what only be described as a stunning failure of judgement, Newsweek is reporting that John McCain has taken his top national security and counter-terrorism expert and reassigned him to Palin’s Troopergate scandal.

Edward O’Callaghan’s reassignment demonstrates how seriously the McCain campaign takes Palin’s scandal, how they’ll do anything to win, and most of all how little they actually care about protecting this nation. It’s tantamount to getting a top secret report entitled, “Bin Laden Determined to Strike the U.S.” and then going on vacation.

Moreover, Palin has chickened out in even talking to the bi-partisan commission investigating her crimes and will instead hide behind John McCan’s skirt.