Gripedujour

Politics and Whatnot…

Posts Tagged ‘National Enquirer

Sarah Palin’s Lover- Revealed!

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We first featured this story here, but there’s new dirt. The National Enquirer has has completed their “exhaustive” probe of Sarah Palin and her back doorman, Brad Hanson. Here’s the skinny: apparently the affair went down in the 90s and Sarah Palin’s friends say that though the love flowed deep, Palin maintained (to her girlfriends, anyway) that the relationship was never “consummated” (think Monica, blue dress). Palin’s husband Todd and Brad Hanson were homeboys, who were in bidness together until Todd found out Brad and Sarah had been “bonding” over “shared interests”. (What kinda “bonding” would make a husband tell his wife she can’t talk to his friend no more?) The witness: Former brother-in-law of Brad Hanson, Craig Bratton, is the one spilling the beans. Bratton claims, “everyone knew Brad was having an affair.” and that word has gone down he family pipeline that if anyone comes asking to deny the affair was with Palin. However….

Bratton has been given a polygraph test and passed! with flying colors. Uh-oh.

More, much more, after the jump…. Read the rest of this entry »

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Wednesday, September 24, 2008 at 1:28 pm

Bristol Palin, Pot Head.

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Bristol Palin is a pot head. (You know, I’m really starting to like this girl: high school drop out, man stealing skank, drunk, knocked up, pot head? Oh yeah, she’s a keeper.)

Anyhow, the National Enquirer has more dirt on the prom queen’s offspring and as per usual, it ain’t keeping with the whole “I’m a mom… Rah, rah, Family Values” tip they’re pitching to the American voters.

The lowlights:

Video? Now when will that come about? Enquiring minds wanna know, bitch!

Written by gripedujour

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 at 1:27 pm

Track Palin: Party Animal, Petty Criminal, Junkie?

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We now join our favorite new drama already in progress. In the latest installment of “The Palins– America’s Favorite White Trash Family” we focus on the ongoing parenting skills of Trailer Park Sarah as she navigates her way through affairs, teenage pregnancy, drunk daughters, lies about her own career, and a drug addled son.

Seems the liberal, elitist National Enquirer has more dirt on the prom queen and her brood.

Despite Tall Tale Sarah telling the world about her angel, Track and his heroic endeavor to enlist and ship off to Iraq, a more honest storyline is emerging. The scuttlebutt for days has been that Track is off to Iraq to avoid jail time for being such a fuck-up. Now the Enquirer brings down the hammer!

Seems Track (in addition to having a ridiculously stupid name) has quite a rep for partying with people who like to shoot their mouths off and the Enquirer was all-to-happy to jot down the dirt.

For the rest of the story and direct quotes from Track’s Clown Shoes Wearing Posse CLICK HERE.

A Few of My Favorite, Latest Palin Rumors…

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…In reverse order of truthiness. 

1. Track Palin joined the Army to avoid jail time for drugs.

The skinny:  Wasilla is the “meth capital of Alaska.” There are rumors Track was one of three unnamed teenagers charged with vandalizing 44 school buses while drunk. The neat dirt here is that the prom queen made her son’s military service a key part of her acceptance speech. Add this to her knocked up teenage daughter and you’ve got a conservative base that will have to kick it into Super-Heavy-Denial-Gear to keep up the family values bullshit.

2.Levi Johnston will not marry Bristol Palin. 

This one is a slam-dunk (in the you know, non-Bush Iraq War kinda way.) There is no chance on earth that this kid’s parents will force him to get married at age 18 and move off to Washington DC with some teenage alcoholic slut and her deranged parents. After Nov 4 there is ZERO chance of this wedding happening. It’s just more GOP bullshit.

 

 

 

3.Sarah Palin is a rude, bitch. Or As McCain likes to call his wife, “a cunt.”

This isn’t even really a rumor is it? This is just a fucking fact. No real need to type up any snappy patter on this one. She’s speaks for herself— when McCain let’s her.

 

 

 

 

I know left out the affair rumors, and the racist stuff, and the naked pictures but that’s old shit. If you’re interested in those oldies but goodies hit the links here, here, and here.

Written by gripedujour

Monday, September 8, 2008 at 5:01 pm

Update: The National Enquirer May Have It Right (Again)!

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Couple days back a story broke that hot and slutty VP choice Sarah Palin had an affair with one of her husband’s former business partners. McCain threatened big time, rich boy legal shit and pretended it was all nonsense. Now comes word that this “ex-business partner” has just filed an emergency motion to have his divorce records sealed! Yikes!

Skeletons much, bitch?

The drama we all loved for years has been canceled. “The Clintons” will no longer be seen on this channel so that we may bring you the never-ending escapades of America’s newest white-trash political family, “The Palins”— Teenage Pregnancy! Drunk Kids on the Loose! Naked Pictures! Mad Affairs! Rednecks Aplenty! The Trailer Park’s Never Been So Much Fun!

Written by gripedujour

Saturday, September 6, 2008 at 9:40 am

RNC Releases Ad Attacking Obama’s Stage (It’s all they got)

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Poor bastards. The prom queen is under fire for nude pics, adulterous affairs, a drunk knocked up daughter, and oh yeah, she’s not even close to being qualified! Oh well.

So what do those whining bitches at the GOP have in return? Obama’s stage sucked!

This from a group of people who can’t even tell the difference between Walter Reed Hospital and a Junoir High School.

Here’s their weak-ass ad. Watch once, puke, repeat.

Sarah Palin’s Lover?

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By now you’re familiar with the National Enquirer story that Princess Palin has been foolin’ around. Well, here’s the guy the National Enquirer thinks has been banging the prom queen. His name is Brad Hanson and here are some basic stats on the man from Palmer, Alaska:

Re-elected October 2005, with current term ending October 2008.

Council Member Hanson was elected by the City of Palmer voters to serve in October of 2002 and re-elected October 2005. His current term ends in October 2008.

Is facial hair, like mandatory in the state of Alaska? We know Bristol’s baby daddy favors the look. If Palin is elected will we all be forced to give up our liberal abortions, have pregnant teenage daughters and ordered to get down with the chin pubes?